What Hurts the Most Read online

  Chapter 2

  Lust at First Sight!

  Tangela

  Damn, this nigga is fine as fuck! Though I’d seen pictures all around Ms. Jackie’s house—even a few at my bestie Asia’s house she shared with, Jay—I didn’t know the nigga was gon’ be looking this damn scrumptious. In the many photos I’d seen he was younger, but now that he’d gotten a li’l age on him, he was definitely a babe. I saw the resemblance between him and Jay but I think this nigga was giving Jay’s ass a run for his damn dollars.

  Standing at 6’3 and 215 pounds—nothing but muscles—he was a dark chocolate Hershey bar, and his perfectly pearly whites sparked when he spoke. His baby face was smooth with a beard that was hanging long and thin with a neat mustache resting above his top lip. Underneath his bottom lip was a little peach fuzz that connected with his beard. His haircut was fresh as hell and cut to perfection. I don’t even have to get on his swag. That shit was out of sight. I knew he was one of those brothers my father warned me to stay far away from and I was gonna do just that. Didn’t need another one of his kind in my life.

  “Tan!” Asia damn near bust my eardrum as her big mouth ass yelled in my ear. My mind was so far gone that I didn’t even know his sexy ass had come back into the kitchen and all three of them were staring at me. I smiled.

  “Oh, my bad, girl. My mind was somewhere else. What’s up?” I said a little embarrassed. Why was this nigga looking at me like that while biting his bottom lip!? Ugh, he was so damn sexy.

  “I was introducing you to my son, but I see your mind is elsewhere,” Ms. Jackie said, laughing.

  “I’m sorry. Hi, how are you?” I waved shyly, and his ass hit me with a head nod. A fucking head nod! Really?

  “This is my son, Quintez. Quintez, this is Tan,” Ms. Jackie introduced us. This time I hit him with a head nod. What the fuck is he looking at? He’s starting to piss me off now, with all that damn staring and shit. With a slight roll of my eyes, I looked the other way. I hated when mothafuckas stared at me and didn’t say nothing.

  Going over to the cabinet, I grabbed four plates and walked over to the table. Since Jay wasn’t here, I didn’t bother getting him one. Knowing his ass he was out somewhere cheating, on my girl. I really didn’t see why Asia was still with him. All he did is fuck around with different hos. I knew I had shit going on in my life too, but my nigga wasn’t a cheater. I never had to worry about a bitch stepping to me telling me what my nigga dick looked, smelled, and tasted like. Asia was my girl, though, and I loved her to the moon and back. I just wish she stopped be so damn naïve and thinking her world revolved around Jay’vion’s ass. He was cool as hell—he just wasn’t the man for my girl.

  Me and Asia were childhood besties that had been through everything together. We shared an unbreakable bond that no one could tear apart. Though we’d had many attempts, we always overpowered them. When my parents was gunned down when I was just twelve years of age, it was Asia’s parents that took me in and raised me as their own. So we were more like sisters than just friends.

  A little over three years ago, Asia and I—along with my boyfriend, Kacey—moved to Atlanta from Savannah, GA. That’s when Asia met Jay. They hit it off pretty good for the first year, but don’t ask me when shit started to go left because I don’t know.

  Once we were done eating and the kitchen was cleaned, we headed to the living room. I couldn’t help but to smile at Ms. Jackie. She was all over Quintez and I could tell she really missed him. I tried to occupy myself with my phone since this nigga seemed to have a damn eye problem. I was tempted to ask him what the fuck was he looking at, but thought against it.

  “Where have you been Jay’vion?” I heard Asia say.

  Looking up, I saw Jay strolling through the front door. His eyes was so damn low, I knew he was fucked up. I shook my head while getting off the couch as my phone began ringing. I was so not in the mood for their shenanigans today. Walking outside, I answered.

  “Hello?” I listened to the operator before pressing the number two on the touch pad.

  “Hello, Tan?” I heard my boyfriend, Kacey, yell into the phone. Kacey was serving a five-year sentence for possession of cocaine and he’d only served two of those five years.

  “Hey baby. I’m here,” I said.

  “Where the fuck you at? I hear a nigga’s voice.” This is what I went through every time he called.

  “Kace, you don’t hear shit,” I stated calmly. Kacey’s ass called every other damn day bitching about something, like it was my fault he was locked up. Better yet, the nigga was acting like he was still running shit.

  “Yo’ black ass better not be out in the fucking streets either. I bet you at Asia house, ain’t you?” he asked. The thought of lying to him—making him believe I was at home popped in my head but I quickly pushed it out. Why lie? Shit, it wasn’t like his ass could do anything about it.

  “I’m actually at Jay’s mama house,” I let him know. Kacey knew all about Jay. He and Jay cliqued up when Asia first introduced them and Jay put him up on game. I wouldn’t say they were best of friends but they were cool.

  “See, that’s yo’ fucking problem right there. You act like you can’t never stay yo’ ass at home. I bet that nigga Jay over there hooking you up with his wack ass homeboys too, ain’t he? Go ahead and lie and say he ain’t,” Kacey said but didn’t even give me a chance to respond. “You better not let me find out. I tell you that,” he warned angrily.

  I blew out a frustrated breath. He was really starting to get on my fucking nerves constantly accusing me of things I wasn’t doing. Kacey wasn’t always like that, though. Yeah, he had flaws but he was always good to me and treated me with nothing but respect. Since he got locked up he accused me of sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry. I was getting tired of that shit, too.

  “Kace, I’m not about to go there with you. If you think I’m out fucking then think that. I’m not about to sit on the phone while you accuse me of shit that I know I’m not doing.”

  “Man whatever, Tan. Just do you and don’t worry about me. I’ll ride the rest of these fucking years out by my damn self,” and with that Kacey slammed the phone in my ear. I just shook my head and powered my cell phone off because I knew he would be calling right back—like always. I heard the sound of lips being smacked and turned to see Asia standing behind me with Quintez and Jay. Her and Jay were hugged up like he hadn’t been MIA all damn day.

  “What you smacking yo’ damn lips for?” I asked as I took a seat in one of the chairs on the porch.

  “Girl, I don’t know why you put up with that nigga bullshit,” Asia had the nerve to say. I sat here in disbelief. I couldn’t believe she mustered that shit out of her mouth. It was funny how the chicks whose boyfriends took them through the most B.S. always tried to tell you how to handle your relationship.

  “He’s just acting like that because he’s in there. I know when he get out things will be back to normal.” She knew like I knew that Kacey was only acting out because he was locked up. I didn’t know why she’s sitting up here acting all brand new and shit, like she didn’t know what’s up, making it look like my nigga just dogged me out in front of Quintez.

  “So you really gon’ ride these five years out with him?” Asia was starting to irritate the fuck out of me right now. What the fuck is her problem? Like we hadn’t discussed this shit before.

  “Uh, yeah. If Jay was locked up you wouldn’t? And bitch, don’t sit up here and say you wouldn’t.” I pressed my lips together and tilted my head to the side, waiting on her answer. Even Jay and Quintez were looking at her as they waited to hear what she had to say.

  “Ugh, I can’t stand you. Yeah, I would,” she admitted with a roll of her eyes. I knew she would so I didn’t know why she was questioning my loyalty for my man.

  “Well I’m about to go home, Asia. My head is killing me. Are you riding home with Jay or do you want me to drop you off?” I asked as I stood up to leave. My head was hurting something serious and Ka
cey and Asia weren’t making the shit any better. After she let me know she was riding with Jay, I gave Quintez one final look and headed to my car. Lord, that man is fine. I had to make sure to stay out of his presence because that was a for sure way to get myself into some trouble.

  Chapter 3

  No Love From Me!

  Quintez

  Hearing li’l mama stating that she would ride five years out for her man made me want her even more. Shit, just looking at her, I could tell she was a rider. She was the type that a nigga would wife up, quick. Shawty was definitely wifey material. She thought a nigga didn’t peep her checking me out. I’m a very attentive ass nigga so I notice everything. I’m a confident ass nigga also, so I knew I was gonna get her li’l ass sooner rather than later.

  I went inside the house to make sure my mama was straight and let her know I was leaving and after letting Jay know I’d get up with him later, I headed to my next destination—to run up in something warm and wet.

  I pulled up to the house of the bitch I was with before I went to the pen. Dumb ass ho was supposed to hold me down but fucked around and got pregnant not even two damn years after I was arrested. Yeah, that’s some fuck shit. Her ass lucky she still had the same number and I memorized that shit ‘cause otherwise I wouldn’t be here trying to fuck her stupid ass.

  Getting out the car, I walked up the walkway to her front door. Before I could even knock the door swung open.

  “Nigga, you supposed to have been here,” her ghetto ass said. Looking her from head to toe, I had to admit, her ass was still sexy as fuck. Bree was a dark-skinned chick with nice sized breasts. Once upon of time she had the fattest ass I had ever seen, but after witnessing li’l mama ass from earlier I wasn’t so sure.

  “Man, girl, get out my face with all that. Shit, I ain’t yo’ nigga.” I brushed past her and walked right in. I ain’t gon’ lie; seeing all the baby toys and shit kinda broke a nigga’s heart. Bree and I were together for five damn years—so you know a nigga was fucked up in the head when I learned she had another nigga’s baby. I wanted to slap the shit out of her just for the hell of it.

  “Well why you over here trying to fuck me like you my nigga?” her retarded ass asked.

  “Because this the only convenient pussy at the time.” I wasn’t sugarcoating shit. She asked, so I told her and it wasn’t like I lied.

  “Really? So, it’s like that, Tez? You just using me for sex now?” She had the nerve to sound hurt when she asked that. Fuck she thought?

  “Man, what’s up, Bree? You gon’ give me the pussy or what? A nigga been locked up for four damn years. Ain’t nobody got time to fucking play with you,” I let her ol’ dumb ass know. I wasn’t about to sit here and go back and forth with her. The way she did me, you would think the bitch would be on her knees begging to suck me up.

  “Not if you gonna be acting like that. You must have forgot who I am!” Bree said as she folded her arms across her chest while mugging me. I frowned as I looked her up and down.

  “Nah, you must forgot who the fuck I am! What, you think you the only ho with a pussy or something? Bitch, you of all people know, it’s nothing for a nigga to get a shot of pussy.” I stood up from the couch. “I don’t even know why the fuck I’m over here the way you fucked over my ass. What the fuck happened to the shit you promised me when I first got sentenced? Huh?” Yeah, I was in my fucking feelings, and her ass was on mute because she knew exactly what I was talking about. “What happened to you promising to stand by my side and ride them years out with me?” I refreshed her memory.

  “Man, Tez, I was and I tried. But I don’t even know how you expected me to sit and wait for your ass for four got-damn years. That’s a long ass time and that’s selfish on your part for even wanting me to.”

  Did this bitch really just say that shit? I had to laugh at her ass with the shit she just uttered out her mouth. This bitch was crazy!

  “Are you fucking serious right now, Bree? I never asked you to wait for me. If memory serves me correctly—I told yo’ black ass that I didn’t want you to wait for me. I told you to do you and if we’re meant to be together then when I got out we would be. Matter of fact, I begged yo’ dumb ass to go on with your life and—.”

  “Well, why you so mad then? Why you standing here all in your feelings?” she cut me off and asked.

  “I’m fucking mad because with me telling you all that, you begged me not to break up with you and promised that you would hold me down. In your words, ‘We’ve been together too long for me to walk away. I promise I’m staying by your side the whole four years because I love you,’” I said mockingly in her ghetto voice.

  “Well, shit happens,” she said with no shame.

  “Yeah, shit does happen and I ain’t even tripping, baby. I just think it’s fucked up that I had to hear it from another mothafucka’ and not you when I was calling you damn near every damn day—still giving you money and everything,” I lied. I was fucking pissed! Man, my ass got played like a mothafucka’. This bitch was lucky her ass was still fucking breathing right now.

  “I know and I’m sorry, Tez. It was never supposed to happen like that. The pregnancy wasn’t planned and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how. Like you said, I was supposed to be holding you down and I fucked up. I swear, me and him not together, though. We just do what we have to do for our daughter and that’s it. I don’t want him. I want you. Always have.” Her dramatic ass started crying. I wasn’t trying to hear that bullshit. Bree and I would never be together again; not relationship-wise, anyway.

  “Man, whatever, I’m out. I just came over here for some pussy but it’s obvious you not trying to give it up. All this other shit you spitting is irrelevant.” I started making my way to the door but she jumped in front of me, blocking my path. I knew she was gon’ do that shit. Bree could never turn down this dope dick. Her ass wasn’t gon’ let me walk out without getting a taste of my shit.

  Walking closer to me, Bree threw her arms around my neck. She tried to kiss me, but I turned my head. She looked offended, but didn’t say anything. I didn’t blame her; I would be offended too. Bree was the only female I had ever put my lips on. I might’ve cheated on her from time to time when we were together, but I never put my mouth on another ho—kissing or eating their pussy. Nope, I didn’t play that shit. However, I would never put my lips on her ass again. From here on out, Bree was gonna be treated just like the rest of these hos in the street. Bitches got no love from me!

  Chapter 4

  How to Love, He Ain’t Got a Clue!

  Asia

  I swear, I didn’t know how much more of Jay’vion’s shit I could put up with. This nigga swore he was a fucking player. He thought I was some, young, dumb, naïve bitch that didn’t know the shit he did. Just because I rarely spoke on it, didn’t mean I was not aware of it. The mothafucka’ was so careless that the shit was just fucking ridiculous. Then he didn’t know how to keep his side hos in line and had bitches calling at four and five in the morning.

  I can say, the nigga might have done his dirt, but at least he brought his dumb ass home every night. Don’t get me wrong; I loved Jay’vion wholeheartedly. He was a good man and a great provider and would give me the world if I asked for it. Don’t get it twisted, though; I was not with Jay’vion for the shit he did for me. I didn’t want his damn money—he could have kept all that shit—I just wanted the nigga to be faithful. I wanted his love, if anything!

  When I first met, Jay, he was everything a bitch dreamed of—loving, caring, and attentive to my every need.

  Standing tall, 6’4” to be exact, and weighing a good two hundred and twenty pounds, Jay’vion was light brown with a baby face and as sexy as they came. The first year of our relationship, he treated me like a queen. I mean, he still did but back then it was different. It was all about me and I never had to worry about another bitch. We were forever together—inseparable—so I knew he wasn’t cheating. If you asked me when he started, I wouldn’t have an
answer for you.

  All I know is one day we were doing a little shopping for the house and a bitch had the nerve to approach us like she was his main and I was the side ho. Me, being a hot-head, I beat her mothafucking ass right there on the spot; then Jay’vion’s. Sure did! I wasn’t about to let his ass slide because he was obviously shooting that bitch lies for her to think is was okay to approach him about being with another bitch. After that altercation, shit went downhill and it had been one thing after another one. Nonetheless, I loved Jay so fucking much that it was hard for me to walk away. I’d leave him for a day or two but he would constantly blow up my phone or show up at Tan’s house with one of his weak ass apologies and promises and just like the fool I was, I’d go right back to his ass.

  Truth be told, I was really getting tired of all the back and forth bullshit. I told Jay last time I came back to his ass that there wouldn’t be a next time. If he cheated on me again, I’d be gone and I meant that shit. Nigga acted like he didn’t have the best pussy at home waiting for his ass.

  “So, where have you been all day?” I turned in the passenger seat of Jay’s car and asked. I wasn’t trying to nag him or anything, but this nigga had been gone since six this morning. He hadn’t called or nothing. Usually, when he would leave for a long period of time he would call every other hour to let me know he was okay or whatever. Not today, and now his ass had some explaining to do.

  “I checked on a few of the traps before going to pick up my li’l brother,” he answered.

  “Afterwards?” Shoot, he had to pick up his brother at nine this morning, here it was after five and this nigga just decided to show his face. Something had to give! I couldn’t keep going through this shit with Jay’s ass.

  “Man, I went back to the trap. Lo ass had court this morning so I went to make the drop he was supposed to make,” his ass lied with a straight damn face. He had other workers that usually did the shit, so what made today any different? I let him have that li’l bit though. My mama always said: what’s done in the dark, will come to light! In Jay’vion’s case, his shit always came to light. I nodded my head as I turned to look out the window.