What Hurts the Most 4 Read online

  What Hurts the Most?

  4

  A Novel

  By: Tynessa

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  © 2016

  Published by Leo Sullivan Presents

  www.leolsullivan.com

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Unauthorized reproduction, in any manner, is prohibited.

  Acknowledgments

  First, I would like to thank God for giving me this gift and the ability to stay focused. To my #1 fan, my mom Varnessa (Rena) Mack, I can’t even begin to describe how much I love you. Thanks for being you and for all the love that you give to me. I love you more than life itself! To my aunt Trellis (Gail) Watson, you are the one true person that I could share anything with and won’t judge me. You are more like my best friend than my aunt and I love you more than you will ever know. Thanks ladies, for encouraging me to not give up, and for always listening to all my ideas and even adding a few of y’all own. I love you ladies more than anything in this world! I would also like to give a special shout out to my dad Michael Mack for your love & support. I love you more than anything! Also, shouts out to my little brother and nephews Mi’kerriun, Johntavious, and Jahiem Mack. I love you guys so much.

  TO MY GRANDFATHER: I can’t begin to describe how much I love you. You mean the world and more to me, Matthew Watson!!! Keep being the OG that you are!!!

  Shout out to ALL my cousins, Aunts and Uncles: I love you all from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for the love and support that ya’ll give. We might argue and fight but at the end of the day we’re family and ALWAYS have each other backs. I love ya’ll to the moon and back!

  I would like to give a thank you to Leo Sullivan for blessing me with this great opportunity and for believing in me and ‘We Are Family’ for accepting me with opened arms. You guys rock!

  I dedicate this book to my four angels that are watching over me…NELLIE JO (GRANDMA JACKIE) HAMMOCK, JOHNNIE MAE (ME-MAMA) WATSON, QUINNTERRANCE (QUINN) WATSON and ALLEN (T.A. Tuddy) WATSON. I love and miss y’all so much and I know the four of you would be so proud of me. REST IN PEACE! Also, RIP Moon and Debbie. Y’all are definitely being missed also!

  To my readers: Thanks for the love and support. I could never thank y’all enough! You guys rock! And a big shout out to my We Are Unbreakable group! Love you ladies.

  To my Tynessa Presents Ladies: I love y’all dearly and its been a pleasure working with you all!!

  If I forgot anyone, please don’t blame it on my heart; blame it on my mind.

  Hope y’all enjoy!

  I thought I was really done with this book. Even when the characters were talking to me, I wasn’t trying to listen. It wasn’t until the readers started demanding I bring them back, that I begin letting my fingers type what the characters were saying. This has been one emotional journey because I can honestly say I know how Tangela feels. It’s hard to be emotionally attached to one person but your heart is yearning for another. I just hope I don’t disappoint you all with this one. Enjoy!

  Chapter 1

  Tangela

  Memory Lane!

  There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think of Quintez, or the love ones I’d left behind in Atlanta; including Kacey. He’d hurt me tremendously, but I still had love for him. I mean, come on now, I’ve known him since I was a teenager. Once upon a time, he was all I knew and I thought there wasn’t a man in this world that could take my boo’s place. Tuh! Boy, was I wrong. All that was before I met Quintez. I often wondered if he would forgive me with the way that I up and left like I did.

  There has been plenty of times where I’d picked up the phone and attempted to call him, but I just couldn’t make myself dial the number he’d given Asia to give to me. That was almost eight months ago. Asia would damn near beg me to call him, and I would tell her I would but knowing damn well I wouldn’t. I mean, what was I going to say? I knew Quintez like a book and he wasn’t going to go for I needed this break to get myself together—which was the truth.

  I know he might think I left because of his daughter, but that wasn’t at all the truth. Though I wished it was me that birthed his baby, it wasn’t and how could I be mad? Actually, I was happy for him. If anyone deserved a little one as gorgeous as his daughter, it was him. And the two months that I did spend around him after she was born, I could tell he would be a great father to her. A smile crept across my face as I reminisced on the good times we shared. I really missed him.

  “What you over there smiling at girl?” Asia asked. She and Keonna had come down to visit for a week and I was ecstatic. This was their second time coming to visit since I moved back, ten months ago. Every time they would get ready to head back to ATL, I would fight the urge of packing up and going with them. It’s not like I had friends down here anyway, and the only family I had was Asia’s folks.

  “Nothing, just thinking,” I said shyly. I was slightly embarrassed with the way I was grinning all hard and shit.

  “Yeah, I bet. We’re supposed to be looking at these wedding dresses and you over there smiling from ear to ear. Let me find out you got a new boo and ain’t telling me. So do you?” Asia nagged. I rolled my eyes because she was forever asking me was I involved with someone.

  “Ugh,” I grunted as I got up and headed to the kitchen of my one-bedroom apartment.

  When I first came down here, I was flat broke and lived in one of Asia’s parents’ guest rooms. All I had was close to two thousand dollars in the bank from when I was working, and I wasn’t trying to live in a hotel until I found a job and was able to move. I got on at the cafeteria inside the hospital. It wasn’t the best thing, but hey, it was a job. I guess that’s why I should’ve took my black ass to college.

  “Don’t ‘ugh’ me, heffa. I don’t know why you staying down here anyways when it is not where you wanna be, and you know it.” Asia followed behind me into the kitchen. I rolled my eyes upwards because I didn’t feel like hearing her preaching today.

  “How did we go from me having a new boo, to being here in Savannah isn’t where I wanna be? Furthermore, what makes you think I’m not happy here, Asia?” I said her name, letting her know she was aggravating the fuck out of me.

  “Because I know you. Look at you, you don’t even look happy, Tangela.” This time, that heifer said my name just as hard as I’d just said hers.

  “I don’t look happy? How is that?” I wanted to know. After all, I was just sitting with a smile on my face.

  Asia gestured towards my body and said, “Look at you. Looks like all your fat ass do is sit around and stuff your face.” My mouth dropped when she said that because I had done picked up a couple of pounds, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that I was fat. A little thick-ish maybe, but not at all fat.

  I smacked my lips and rolled my eyes. “Whatever, I am not fat!” I said a little offended.

  “I’m just playing. Get out your feelings. You have picked up a couple of pounds and you need to stay right there. Don’t gain no more.” She laughed as she smacked my ass, a little too hard. “Tez gon’ like all that ass.”

  “Ouch, heffa. You better stop before I punch you,” I said as I hauled back with a fist as if I was going to knock her out. Bringing my hand down, I said with a smirk, “My booty was already big anyways.” I then made it clap, and Asia frowned.

  “See, that’s why those niggas were fighting over you, because of that right there.”<
br />
  Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. I still couldn’t believe Kacey and Quintez was actually fighting like they were still in middle school. I guess I should be flattered that two fine ass niggas were fighting over me. I wasn’t though, because it was childish as fuck! Quintez explained to me what went down that day, and what I didn’t understand was how in the hell Kacey’s ass thought it was okay to even approach that man on that level. We weren’t together so who I was fucking with didn’t concern him.

  “Girl, whatever. Let’s finish looking at these dresses.” I walked out the kitchen and back into the living room with Asia following. I was really happy that her and Jay were finally tying the knot. Most of all, I was happy he’d finally gotten his shit together. We all doubted him but he showed our black asses.

  “I’m so ready to get this over with. Are you coming down and going with me to try on my dress next week?” Asia asked me. She’d been begging me to come down for the fitting of her dress. I wasn’t ready to face everyone just yet, especially Quintez. I didn’t know if my heart could handle seeing his ass.

  I mean, I was still in love with him. Yes, it’s been months since I’d last seen him but my heart wasn’t a switch. I couldn’t just turn the kind of love I felt for him off, just like that. Trust me, I wish I could but I just couldn’t.

  “Hello. Are you coming or not?” Asia asked once again as she waved her hand in my face. I sighed heavily and shook off the feeling of yearning for Quintez.

  Falling back on the couch, I said, “I really don’t know, Asia. I really don’t want to deal with anyone right now. You know, with the whole incident that happened with me, I don’t want anyone to look at me as if I’m just some crazy ass chick. You know how folks be staring at you with pity and shit.” I didn’t need anyone judging me because I was once in a mental institution.

  “Bitch, ain’t nobody gon’ be feeling sorry for your ass. Ugh. So that’s why you up and ran down here and won’t come back home? You thinking people there talking about you or something?” Asia asked. Yes, that was part of the reason but I wasn’t about to tell her ass that.

  “No, of course not. I really came here to better myself. Like, I wanted to get both, Quintez and Kacey out my system. Dealing with them and the baby I lost, girl, it was just too much for me.” I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as I spoke. Though it had been a year since I lost my baby, it was still a touchy subject.

  Asia must’ve sensed it because she wrapped me in her arms. I wasn’t going to cry. I told myself that I was done with the tears and wasn’t going to travel back down memory lane. I refused to go back to being depressed.

  “It’s okay, babes,” Asia said as she rubbed my back. When she finally pulled back, I let her know that I was okay. “I really think you should come back home with me, Tan. I mean, there’s nothing going on down here. When I call, you forever stuck in this damn house or when you’re not, you at my parents’ house. Girl, that shit is going to have you being right back depressed.”

  I rolled my eyes upwards when she said that, because it was so true. I didn’t do anything down here. Hell, it wasn’t anything to do. I could go to the beach, but I didn’t want to be out there with all those folks and that damn water by myself. Then when guys do try to talk to me, I would turn them down as if I really had someone sitting at home waiting for me.

  I sighed heavily as I thought about what my girl was saying. But was I ready to relive the past that I was running from? Back in Atlanta wasn’t shit but bad memories for me.

  “I understand what you’re saying, Asia. But—” I started but was cut off by the smack of Asia’s lips.

  “But nothing, girl.” She rolled her eyes at me. “Well, at least come back just to visit. I really want you to move back but I see you’re not, so just come for a few days.” This girl wasn’t letting up. She looked so cute when she pouted and how could I turn that adorable face down.

  So cute that I pinched each one of her cheeks and brought her face to mine. Twisting her head from left to right, I said in a baby-like voice, “My baby looks so freaking cute when she pouts.” And with that, I pecked her on the lips, quickly, before jumping off the couch and running to my room.

  “Bitch! I’ma beat yo’ gay ass,” I heard Asia yell out before hearing something hit the wall. I didn’t know what, but I knew her ass had thrown something. “And yo’ ass better pack your damn bags while you back there, too!” she then shouted.

  I just laughed as I shut my bedroom door. Maybe this trip is what I need. Maybe, seeing Quintez wouldn’t be so bad after all. Only time would tell.

  Chapter 2

  Asia

  Welcome Back!

  I was gon’ beat Tangela’s ass for kissing me on my damn lips like that. She knows I don’t even play that shit. Ain’t no telling what her, Tez and Kacey freaky asses used to do before she moved down here. Ugh. Just thinking about it got me pissed off.

  Wiping my lips, I shook my head and couldn’t help but laugh. That girl was so damn silly. Like, who in the fuck would do some shit like that?

  “Tan, let’s leave out tonight. I miss my fiancé,” I whined. I had been gone for too long and was yearning for that man’s touch.

  Jay’vion and me had come a long way. He was now my knight in shining armor and if you didn’t know us before, you would’ve thought we’d always had the perfect relationship. But I’m not going to sit up here and act as if I didn’t still have trust issues, because I did. These days, he never gave me a reason to think he was out doing me dirty, but after being hurt by him so many times before, it was just natural for me to feel the way I did.

  I think I did a good job at hiding my feelings though. I never nagged him or questioned him because I didn’t want him to think I was still living in the past. I just knew that if he were doing something he had no business doing, it would come to light—which I doubt he was.

  “I thought you was staying for a few more days. Ugh. I told you I had to work tomorrow. I can’t afford to take off,” Tan explained in frustration.

  “Just call out tomorrow.” I knew she was going on vacation for a couple of days after tomorrow, so missing one day wouldn’t hurt anything. “I’ll even pay you double for tomorrow. Hell, even triple if you want it.”

  Yes, that’s how bad I wanted my girl to pack up and we hit the road, today. I wasn’t playing any games with her. And since she said she loved when I pouted, I even did that while batting my lashes.

  “Hmm. Triple?” Nodding my head, yes, I saw a smile creep across her face. “Let’s ride, Clyde,” she said. I laughed and jumped up.

  After damn near a year, I couldn’t believe I had finally gotten Tan to agree on coming back to Georgia with me. Man, it was about to be some happy ass niggas in ATL, and she had to be crazy if she thought I was letting her ass come back to this boring ass town. Once we were all packed and ready to go, we headed to my parents’ house to get Keonna then hit the road. I was too damn hyped to have my girl back.

  ****

  Almost five hours later, Keonna, Tan and me were walking through the front door of my house. Jay’s car wasn’t parked out front so I knew he wasn’t home. I couldn’t wait to see the surprise on his face when he saw Tan had come back with me. Just like the rest of us, his ass missed her too.

  “Y’all hungry?” I asked Keonna and Tan. I know after that long ride I was starving like Marvin. Just as I suspected, their asses were hungry too. I whipped us up some spaghetti with the four cheese Texas toast, and some Kool-Aid for my baby and me and Tan some wine. We fucked that food up fast!

  “I’m stuffed and a little tipsy,” Tan said. Hell, I knew she was. Her ass had five glasses of wine against my two glasses. I just shook my head and chuckled, but didn’t respond.

  Instead, I said, “Come on Keonna so you can bathe and go to bed. Tell Auntie Tan goodnight.” My baby girl did as I said and followed me to the back room.

  I swear I loved this lil’ girl with every fiber in my body. She was my heart and more, and God re
st Ke’unta’s soul, but she was the only good thing that came out of our relationship. Hell yeah, I was still pissed that he didn’t tell me that his ass was married and shit. Then on top of that, can you believe that his dumb ass parents hadn’t called to check on my baby girl, their grandchild, at all since I had her? Yes, what a poor excuse of grandparents they are.

  Once Keonna was all tucked in, I headed back to the living room where I’d left Tan. She was laid back on the couch watching reruns of Martin.

  “Asia, where Jay at?” she asked me out the blue. Hell, I didn’t even know where he was my damn self. I wanted to surprise him, but since I hadn’t talked to him since I was on the interstate, I dialed his number. After the first ring, he answered and just hearing his voice caused a smile to plaster on my face. “Hey baby. What you doing?” I asked.

  “I ain’t doing shit. Over at my brother’s house chilling with him and lil’ mama. What you got going on? I miss you,” he said all in one breath.

  “Oh, you at Tez’s house? Humph.” When I said that, I eyed my girl. Tan was now waving her hand in the air indicating that she didn’t want me to let him know that she was here. I wasn’t going to just flat out tell him that. No, I wouldn’t do my girl like that. I was going to throw one hell of a hint though.

  I was getting sick of her ass. Hell, that man loved her and I knew for a fact that she loved him back, so I didn’t know why she was fronting. I couldn’t wait for him to see her, either. Then my girl had done gained some weight and was looking all bootylicious and shit. Tez was going to love that. Fuck Kacey! I didn’t give a damn if he ever saw her again or not. Dumb bastard!

  “Yeah, I’m over here. What’s all that shit for?” Jay asked offensively.

  “Oh nothing, baby. Tell my brother I said hey and I got him a souvenir.” Looking over at Tan, I chuckled as she fell back in the couch and threw her hands in the air dramatically. Oh well, if she was mad, she wasn’t going to be mad for long.