What Hurts the Most 4 Read online

  Placing the phone on speaker, we listened as Jay told Tez what I’d just said. Next voice that was heard on the phone was none other than Mr. Quintez himself.

  “Man, what’s good, sis? Ain’t nobody about to play with you. Last time you told me you had something for me, it was a damn seashell. I didn’t want that shit,” Tez said in a serious tone. I couldn’t help but laugh when he said that.

  See, a couple of months ago when I had gone to visit Tan, I called up Tez and told him that I was bringing him something back. I knew the first thing that was gone run through this nigga’s mind was my girl, Tan. His ass was too hyped and got a big ass seashell from when she and I had gone to the beach. The expression on his face was priceless when I brought that back to him. He went outside and threw it down the street somewhere.

  “Man, don’t be like that, Tez. I got you an even bigger one than last time,” I continued to laugh.

  “Man, whatever,” he blew me off. “Aye, where your friend at?” I swear that man wasn’t giving up on Tan.

  Looking over at Tan, I was damn near tempted to tell him that she was sitting right on my living room couch. But being that I knew she would have a heart attack had I did that, I said, “She’s in the bathroom. You want me to bring her back with me when I come home?”

  “Man, you know her ass ain’t coming back here. It’s cool though. I’m ‘bout ready to go snatch her ass up and bring her back my damn self.” The seriousness in his voice had me and Tan both laughing our ass off. Well I think I was laughing a little harder than she was. I had to mute the phone just so he couldn’t hear.

  “I don’t know, she might. Well, let me get off this phone. Tell Jay I love him and to call me when he leaves there.” I didn’t even wait for Tez to respond before hanging up. Had I kept him on the phone for a little while longer, it would’ve only been a matter of time before it slipped out that Tan was here.

  “I play too much, don’t I?” I said while continuing to laugh. Falling over on Tan, she shrugged me off and got off the couch.

  “Entirely too fucking much. I’m going to bed.” With that she walked off on me, leaving me still sitting here laughing. After I finally got my laugh under control, I decided to go shower and wait for Jay’vion to get home. I could never sleep peacefully without my boo beside me.

  Chapter 3

  Kacey

  Haven’t Loved Right!

  As I sat on the couch watching Rachel wobble her fat ass in here where I was, I shook my head in disgust. Not because she’s nasty or unattractive, it’s simply because I didn’t want her ass. She’s nerve wrecking. I don’t wanna be in this fucking house with her and I damn sure didn’t wanna be having another baby with her ass. I didn’t even know how I let this bitch trap me into having another one with her. I can’t even recall nutting in her without wearing a condom, to be honest. No, we didn’t always use protection, but when we didn’t, I would always pull out and make sure she swallowed the shit. I guess I wasn’t as clever as I thought I was because now we’re having baby number two.

  She’s only seven months and worrisome as hell. Her and Grisela have this pregnancy pact shit going on. Both those bitches irk me.

  “Man, I don’t know why you throwing those things up here. I ain’t about to rub them,” I said to her. I mean, she’s having my child and I would often rub her feet at times, but today was one of those times I didn’t feel like it. I wanted to watch the game in peace. The Falcons were playing the sorry ass Saints and I had high hopes for us.

  “I didn’t ask you to. I just wanted to prop them up. Look at them, they’re swollen and hurt so fucking bad,” she complained. I just shook my head. This damn girl acts like she’s the only pregnant bitch, ever.

  “Man, why you always complaining? You act like you ain’t never been pregnant before. You knew all this shit was gonna happen before you even trapped me this time. The only reason I’m saying this time is because I take full responsibility for Lil’ Kace, being that we never use condoms; but this time, it was all on you. I don’t know what you did or when you did it, but you got me good as fuck.” Hell yeah I was pissed the fuck off. How the fuck was I gon’ ever get Tan back when the same woman that I cheated with was pregnant again?

  Rolling her eyes upwards with a heavy sigh, Rachel said, “Trapped you! Trapped you! Trapped you!” she mocked me. “You know what? I’m so fucking sick of hearing that shit. I been hearing that for the past seven and a half months and I’m tired of hearing the same damn song. If I did trap you, it ain’t shit you can do about it now because Kassidy will be here soon. So suck the shit up!”

  When Rachel said that, I looked at her ass in disbelief. To me, it was as if she’d just pretty much admitted to trapping me. Throwing her leg off my lap, she tried to stand but I jumped up and in her face, preventing her from getting up.

  “Oh, so you did trap me, huh? I knew yo’ ass was trifling as fuck when you broke me and my girl up.” I didn’t mean to refer to Tan as my girl. The shit just slipped out but since it did, I didn’t try to take it back. I just kept right on talking. “What was your reason? Hell, you already had me here! We’re already living together with a son, so what more do you want from me?”

  “Your girl? And who might that be? After all we’ve been through, you still referring to that ho as your girl?” The hurt I’d just caused could be heard throughout her voice. “Does your girl take care of your one and only son? Does your girl wash your crusty ass drawers? Does the bitch even cook and clean behind yo’ nasty ass and your son? How about, do the bitch you call ‘your’ girl fuck and suck yo’ musty dick ass every damn night? How ‘bout you go be with yo’ damn girl because me nor either one of my kids needs you.” By now, the water works were pouring and I couldn’t say shit. “Kace, if you don’t wanna be here then you’re welcome to walk your ass up out my door. I never forced you to be here with me.”

  Says the bitch that just admitted to trapping me, I thought to myself. Though I wanted to say it out loud, I wouldn’t dare.

  “Man, you know I ain’t mean that damn girl was my girl, so kill all that noise.” See, the thing with me, though I hated being here with a passion, I wouldn’t leave. I just couldn’t make myself. Rachel was one of those nasty broads that would try to keep my kids away if she couldn’t have me. Lil’ Kace was my lil’ right hand man, and even though I felt she trapped me with lil’ mama she was pregnant with, I wouldn’t want her to keep my daughter out my life. So, with that being said, I was forced to stay here with her and be in this relationship that I didn’t want.

  “Do you think I don’t know you still talk to her? I’ve read all the texts where you tell her how much you miss her and want to work on y’all relationship. Does she even know we live together, or about Kassidy?” she asked as she rubbed her stomach when speaking of our unborn child.

  “So, you were snooping through my shit? I done told yo’ muthafuckin’ ass about going through my phone. If you that insecure that you have to snoop, then we don’t need to be together. I’m not telling you that no more! I don’t touch your phone so don’t put your hands on mine.”

  Tan and I started chatting over the phone almost three months ago. We didn’t talk every day, but we at least spoke to one another twice a week. I’d even driven down to Savannah twice to see her. Tan made it clear each and every time that she didn’t want my ass, and the little bit of hope I had for us getting back together, I could let it go. She made me feel good when she announced that she wasn’t trying to be with my nigga Tez, either.

  Tez and I were cordial with one another nowadays. It was like that fight we had a few months back was just what we needed to squash the beef between us. Tan don’t want either one of our asses, so why continue the unnecessary beef.

  “Well, sleep with it in your hand so it won’t wake me up then I wouldn’t have to go through it. The girl made it clear that she don’t want you, so why are you chasing her? What do y’all have to talk about?”

  “I’m not chasing her! Yeah, I did som
e fucked up shit to her but we’re still cool. What, you thought we were gonna end shit and just walk away from one another as if we were never a couple? Nah, we’ve known each other too long for it to go down like that, and plus, we did have a baby together. Did you forget that?” Yeah, I know our baby didn’t make it but she was ours and we were both still hurt because of her death. It’s only right I continue to call and check on her. No matter what Tan and me went through, she would always and forever be the love of my life.

  Rachel folded her arms across her chest, tilted her head to the side and said, “Again I ask, what do y’all have to talk about?”

  “Oh, so you’re saying that because our baby didn’t make it, we can’t be cool? We have plenty of shit to talk about. Maybe she understands me better than yo’ ass do. The fuck you mean, what we have to talk about!? Obviously, we have a lot to talk about!”

  I was fucking pissed. Who was she to ask what did I have to talk about with Tangela? What Rachel, Tez and whoever else in our lives fail to realize, is we’ll forever have one of the tightest bonds. Whether they like it or not, that’s how it’s gonna be.

  “Where are you going?” I heard Rachel ask. I didn’t say anything else to her because I was just that mad. Grabbing my keys out the bedroom, along with my son, I headed out the door. I didn’t want to be around Rachel and I damn sure didn’t want my son around her ass.

  Remembering Jay’vion say earlier that he would be chilling at the crib all day watching the game, I headed over to his house. That way, I could enjoy the game in peace.

  Chapter 4

  Quintez

  Life After Tang!

  “Why you always giving daddy a hard time, Jazlyn? You don’t do mommy like this.” I pretended to be hurt, as I sat on the couch giving my daughter the puppy dog eyes. She was standing on the opposite side of the room with her tongue hanging out her mouth while tilting her head from side to side. Getting off the couch, I took off towards her and she ran. We’d been doing this for about five minutes now. “Got you,” I said as I picked her up. Throwing her in the air, I caught her and blew her belly button. That caused her to giggle.

  My baby girl was a mixture of her mama and me. She had her mother’s big almond shaped eyes and perky lips, but she had my smile with deep dimples. Grisela might not have been the one I would’ve chosen to have a baby by, but I’m glad she blessed me with the best gift. Jazlyn was my world. She was the reason I was no longer heavy in the game. I hadn’t touched any dope or made a drug run since she was brought into this world. I ain’t doing shit to jeopardize my freedom. All I do is get money and let my brother, Kace and the rest of those fools do the rest. Shit, if they wanted to live like they didn’t have responsibilities, then that was all on them.

  Once I finally had my lil’ mama dressed, I grabbed her diaper bag and prepared to take her home. I knew she was going to have a fit once I dropped her off, but being that I was going to chill at my brother’s house and watch the game, I was taking her to her mama. Grisela and me were doing a damn good job at this co-parenting thing. We had our differences but for the most part, we tried to get along for the sake of our daughter.

  Pulling up into Grisela’s driveway, I got out, got Jazlyn out and headed up the walkway. She’d recently gotten her a little three-bedroom house and I was very proud of her. That little funky ass two-bedroom apartment wasn’t big enough, especially with a new addition being added. Taking a look at her black-on-black 2014 Jeep Wrangler, I shook my head at the flat tire. I didn’t even know what she saw in that ugly ass truck. Well it wasn’t that ugly, but it didn’t look like shit she’d be sporting.

  “Hey, mama’s big girl,” she said once I made it inside. It wasn’t cold outside so the front door was wide open with the screen door closed, preventing bugs from getting in. Jazlyn ran right to her. Seeing them kiss on the lips and the slob that trailed between Jazlyn and Grisela’s mouth, caused me to frown.

  “Y’all nasty as fuck,” I said with a chuckle and a shake of my head. That’s exactly why I don’t kiss my baby girl on the lips. For one, because I didn’t want all that damn slob in my mouth; and two, I knew what her mama did with her mouth. “Why you have to kiss her in the mouth, man?” I fussed as I set her bag down.

  “Because she’s my baby, that’s why. Plus, I used to kiss you in the mouth.” With a wink and a smile, she walked over to me.

  “Those two to three times don’t count, fatty girl,” I laughed as I brushed my hand over her six-month pregnant belly. I swear this girl wears her pregnancy well. Grisela was breathtaking and it was too bad she couldn’t have my heart. It didn’t stop us from sleeping together, though, up until she got pregnant this time around.

  “Whatever! They would always count in my book. Want something to eat?” By this time, I had wrapped one of my arms around her neck, pulling her in for a hug, so she was looking up at me.

  “Nah, I’m about to head over to Jay’s house to watch the game. When you going to get your tire fixed? The shit been broken down for almost a week now. You need to get one of those niggas you fucking with to get it fixed.” I knew what she was trying to do, she was trying to wait it out, thinking I was going to be a sucker ass nigga and do it for her.

  “Boy, you know damn well I ain’t talking to nobody. But I’m waiting to see what my check gon’ look like tomorrow. Hopefully I have enough but if I don’t, would you help me?” she batted those damn eyelashes, thinking that would reel a nigga in.

  “Nah, I ain’t got no money. I went broke buying the muthafucka for you,” I lied.

  Smacking her lips, she went back over to the couch and flopped down. “Wow, you know your daughter gon’ need a ride to places. By you being my baby daddy, I thought you would help me out. I know you do a lot as is, but those damn tires are high and I already know I’m not gon’ have enough to get it fixed.”

  I looked at her ass in disbelief. I had a whole lot of shit I could’ve said to her but instead, I was going to leave before I hurt her damn feelings in here.

  “You know what, I’m not gon’ even comment on the b.s. you just said. I’ll be back to get her probably Wednesday. If I don’t get her then, I’ll definitely be over to see her. Come give daddy a hug, mama,” I said to my baby. She ran right to me and gave me a hug and a big juicy kiss on the jaw. That shit was wet and slob was all over my face. I didn’t say shit else to Grisela as I left.

  ****

  “Touchdown muthafuckas!” I yelled out as Freeman made the first touchdown on the Saints. B was a Saints fan to the heart and my brother had decided to jump on their bandwagon as well. If Carolina Panthers weren’t playing, then my brother thought the sorry ass Saints was the next best thing. I say otherwise. Win or lose, the Falcons would always be the best in my eyes. Yes, it’s safe to say, I’m a die-hard fan.

  “But bruh, it don’t matter. Y’all niggas still gon’ lose,” Jay’vion said with B agreeing with him.

  “Yeah muthafucka, we’ll see,” was my only reply back. I wasn’t about to argue with them because we would be going at it all damn night and I take shit like that personal. If I don’t talk about your team, don’t put mine down.

  It was halftime in the game when Kace and Lil’ Kace showed up, looking just alike. That was my lil’ nigga, too. Just looking at him, I could tell he wasn’t going to be a pussy ass nigga like his daddy. Yeah, me and Kace were cool now, but the shit he used to pull before Tang moved away, I would always consider that man to be a bitch made nigga. Shid, I knew it would always be animosity he felt for me deep down in his heart. I don’t care how many times he smiles in my face and dap me up; I would always be the nigga that fucked up his home, to him. It was already fucked up if you ask me, but he had to put the blame on someone and I just so happened to be that person.

  “What’s up, Lil’ Kace?” I spoke as I dapped lil’ man up. I wasn’t surprised that the first thing came out his mouth was him asking where Jazlyn was. His ass loved himself some Jazlyn. “Aye Kace, I think he got a crush on my baby girl.
I’d hate to whoop his lil’ ass,” I said as I grabbed Lil’ Kace in a headlock. We were always fucking around about him always wanting to play with Jazlyn when she’s around, or him asking about her when she wasn’t.

  “Nigga, he looks at her as a sister,” Kace laughed as he dabbed B up. “Where Jay?”

  Jay’vion had been on some sneaky shit all day. Since when did he have to go out the room to talk to Asia? She was calling damn near every thirty minutes and if he didn’t leave the room, he was whispering on the phone to her. I was getting sick of the shit to be honest. I was about to speak up until Jay’vion walked in. Taking a look at Kace, he looked like he’d seen a ghost.

  “Kace, man, what you doing here?” he asked. I frowned because I knew something was up. He’d never acted surprised to see that man like that. It was as if Kace shouldn’t have been there.

  “Damn, I can’t come over here now?” Kace asked confusedly.

  “Nah, I ain’t mean it like that. It’s just… Shit! I’ll be right back.” Jay’vion damn near ran out the room. Me being the nigga I am, I got up and went right behind him. I wanted to know what was up with this dude and why was he being all secretive and shit.

  “Man, what the fuck is going on? Why you acting all weird and shit?” I wanted to know. Walking over to the refrigerator, I retrieved a beer as I waited for my brother to reply. He blew out a frustrating breath and rubbed his hand down his face.

  “Tan is here. Well, she’s in Atlanta but her and Asia went somewhere. She didn’t want anyone to know she came down the other day, so—” Hearing Tan had come down the other day and my brother didn’t tell me, had me pissed. He knew I’d been dying to see that damn girl and him not telling me had me questioning his loyalty.

  “Hold up, nigga. She’s been down here for a couple of days and you didn’t feel the need to let me know? That’s fucked up, yo.”